


until the flower of this love has blossomed...

by sinfuljiminy



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Ass to Mouth, Excessive Drinking, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Religion, Riding, Sexual Content, Smoking, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-10 12:00:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6984211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuljiminy/pseuds/sinfuljiminy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  </p><div class="center"><em>
      <p>"And when he kissed this boy, he knew that nothing in his life would ever compare to the way he felt when their lips first touched, the very essence of his skin burned in his memory like a lasting reminder of what he could of had, but never allowed himself to indulge in."</p>
    </em></div>
  <br/>
<p></p>
            </blockquote>





	until the flower of this love has blossomed...

**Author's Note:**

> hey, hi, hello! so i know i mostly write larry, but ziam has been sparked up in me recently and, well, i binge watched daredevil a few weeks back and this just sort of happened. :/ i've obviously changed a lot of things from the series because i didn't want it to be a retold story but rather make it my own in a way. you'll notice the changes, if you're familiar with the series, so just remember that they're intentional. If you're not familiar with the series, hopefully I've done a good job at explaining Zayn's background and why/how he can do the things he does.
> 
> painfully obvious that i don't own anything that has to do with marvel and that this is just written purely for entertainment purposes and i ain't trying to claim anything as my own doing. i'm too broke to get sued so pls leave me be. :x
> 
> as always, hope you enjoy! ♥ Zee.
> 
> Title from: Zayn's _INTERMISSION: fLoWer_
> 
>  
> 
> ❀❀❀

_Zayn felt heat cover his entire body, a numbing beginning in his toes and rising slowly up his legs, temporarily paralyzing him. His back had smacked against a brick wall, wet from the day's rain that turned into night's thunderstorm, lightening crashing above them. He could hear Liam, his best friend in the entire world, groaning a good fifteen feet away from him and the man that had him at gunpoint scraping himself closer to Zayn, shuffling to his feet. Taking a deep breath that hurt even the brain cells in his head equal to the burn in his lungs, he pushed himself from the wall and kicked the man right under the chin, causing him to fall back against the wet pavement, blood gushing from his mouth pooling beside him. He slipped on top of him and began throwing punch after punch, his world spinning around him, his good guy persona seeming to fade away with every hit landing on the man's face because he tried to hurt Liam. And no one, absolutely no one, is allowed to hurt Liam._

_"Stop," He heard Liam moan and it was enough to make him pull back, left arm frozen in mid-air, body turned away from his best friend. "S-stop, don't.. he's.. he's out."_

_Zayn shuddered and quickly moved to stand up, blood rushing to his head instantly and he stumbled back against the opposite wall he'd previously slumped against, trying to hold himself up._

_Liam came closer and Zayn really wish he wouldn't; he wished he would just stay away, stay home during the night time, but he never learned his lesson. "Why do you keep saving me?" He plead, dragging himself on his knees to the wall where Zayn stood ten feet away, groaning as he pulled himself up. "Why are you always around, getting me out of shit I fall into? Who the hell even are you, running around here in that mask?"_

_"You should get home," Zayn yelled as loudly as he could with his distinguished voice, though it shook, his stomach in knots. What if Liam realizes it's him? They've been friends for ten years, nearly spent every last moment of it together. Could he really fool the one person he's the closest to in this world? "I'll follow close behind, make sure you get there safely."_

_"I don't need a bodyguard, you know? I can take care of myself and honestly, it's quite a damn bruise to my ego to have you fight all my battles."_

_"He would've hurt you.. or worse."_

_"And that would've been my fate, the way God destined it to be."_

_Zayn_ almost _snorted, reaching up to brush a string of blood from his nose, sniffling softly. "You believe in that crap if you want to, but I'm not just going to let you get yourself killed built on your faith."_

_"Who are you?" Liam asked after a few moments of silence, rain beginning to come down at a fast speed, crashing into the pre-filled puddles around their feet. "Why do you care whether I live or die?"_

_"Can't explain it. I just.. I just do."_

_"That's not an answer."_

_"That's the only one I've got." Zayn took a deep breath that didn't calm him in the slightest, shuffling back when Liam moved closer to him. "Go home. Please."_

_"I need you to explain. I'm not going to be able to sleep at night without knowing why you're doing this for me. Why you keep following me around, playing God, deciding that I should live. I need to know, damnit!"_

_"You don't get to know!" Zayn yelled and it was admittedly louder than he wanted it to be. He'd never intentionally yell at Liam, but the guy was stubborn as the word could get and Zayn was honestly so exhausted. He just wanted to see to it that Liam get home safely. "There are some things that are better left unsaid and that's just something you're going to have to accept so just please go home. Take a bath, relax, and go to sleep knowing that someone out there other than your God is watching out for you. And you should really be grateful because it's more than most people get."_

_Liam didn't get a chance to reply. Zayn should have been paying more attention to the other man to realize he was reaching for his gun, turning the barrel towards them, and before he could run to grab it from his hand, he pulled the trigger. Everything went dark and Zayn's world was changed forever in that very instant._

**_❀ ᴀ ᴡᴇᴇᴋ ᴇᴀʀʟɪᴇʀ. ❀_ **

"Hey, LiAnne!" Liam sang with a giggle as he raised his hand, waving down the elderly bar owner who he was sure produced more than half of the grey hairs on her poor head because of him. He was a regular at LiAnne's Roadhouse Bar and the running tab was probably well into the thousands right now, but thanks to Liam being one of the young fine lawyers who kept her nephew out of a twenty to life sentence in the state prison, she was kind enough to keep it open until further notice. Not that Liam wanted to take advantage of that kindness, but, hey, can anyone blame him? "Another round for my friends and I, please? Celebrating a birthday here!"

Liam stayed until closing time which wasn't rare, but considering he couldn't drive and chasing down a taxi in the dead of night was going to be like finding a needle in a haystack, he decided, against his better judgement, to walk the few blocks to his apartment. Just as he was turning the corner, humming a tune of some stupid country song he must've heard at LiAnne's, and minding his own business, some guy came running around bumping right into him and nearly knocking Liam right on his ass. More footsteps followed and Liam found himself surrounded by five men who looked like they never missed a trip to their neighborhood gym, one of the biggest grabbing him and pointing a gun at his temple. Everything happened so quickly, his head spinning at a thousand miles that he didn't even notice the two cops following with raised guns, shouting at the gang members to stand down.

Clearly outnumbered, the gang member that was holding Liam turned the gun towards the officers, shouting out a sentence in broken English. "Leave us alone or we kill this motherfucker!"

"No one needs to die," The younger police officer said and, fuck, he must've been what? Twenty-two, twenty-three. Definitely not too many years on the field with the way his hands were shaking as he tried to negotiate with the gang member. "Please, just put the gun down."

"You leave us alone!" A different guy with the same broken English accent yelled from behind and Liam flinched as he heard a switchblade being opened and he swore he nearly peed himself the moment he felt the knife press against the back of his thick jacket."I kill him right now!"

Neither party had time to respond and everything happened in a blur, bodies dropped, men grunted, punches landed and Liam didn't know which way was up or which way was down. The only thing he remembered between being held hostage and praying to God for a quick and merciful death was being half dragged down the alleyway a few feet away from where everything took place, darkness surrounding every corner.

And the voice that came through the black hole echoed, Liam unable to decipher where it came from. "Head home. I'll follow you, make sure you get there safe."

"W..what? Who are you?"

"Just do as you're told or risk ending up dead." The voice snapped and Liam was way too drunk for this right now. Any other day of the week he would've probably fought him on it, but right now was not the time or the place, considering Liam was kind of, not that he'd admit it, afraid of the dark.

He nearly ran all the way home and knowing some mysterious Kung Fu fighter was following close behind wasn't the _most_ comforting thought, but at least he knew he'd be kind of taken care of if he accidentally bumped into another gang. Making sure his house was locked and secure, Liam went to his bedroom and looked out the window to see a masked man standing at the building across from him, giving him a slight nod before jumping over the emergency exit stairs he was standing on and running away into the night.

Liam sighed and walked to his bed, throwing himself on top of his pillows, not having enough energy to even take his clothes off. "I'm too fucking drunk for this shit."

❀ sɪx. ❀

Zayn's arms burned, his chest heaved, feeling as if a ton of cement settled around his heart, his body stiff and restless. He threw blow after blow, hitting the punching bag in front of him, ignoring the sweat the slid down the back of his neck and skidded down both of his temples. His phone had been buzzing for the last hour, most likely calls and voice mails from Liam, asking where he was and when he was going to be home. That he had something to tell him, something that he wasn't going to believe, but his best friend had absolutely no idea how much he knew or believed. It was getting harder these days to keep his secret and his distance when Liam was such a careless bastard and continued getting himself into messes that Zayn couldn't help but get him out of. It was getting harder not to be basically a damn creep, following him around, making sure he's safe on nights where he's being vague about where he's going or what time he's going to be back home. And, in all honest, Zayn knew he was a grown man, somewhat capable of taking care of himself and making his own choices, but his heart couldn't bare it if he'd have to stand at Liam's funeral knowing that he could have easily prevented his death.

Another long incessant buzzing began and Zayn finally huffed out as he walked towards his bag, shuffling through it until he found his phone, pressing the talk button. "Yeah?"

"Z, finally! Jesus, man, I've been trying to call you forever. Where are you?"

"The gym. What's up? Everything okay?"

"No!" Liam shouted and Zayn heard thumping on the other line, as if he was throwing stuff around and he really wouldn't put it past him. "You know that freak in the mask that's been going around beating up guys and filling the county jail with crooks? Yeah, well, he fucking saved me last night." He said without pause, barely breathing as he recounted the story. "---easily, like it wasn't even an obstacle taking all those big ass guys down by himself! And don't even ask about the cops. My guess is they shit themselves when dude showed up and booked it."

Zayn sighed into the phone, placing it between his cheek and shoulder as he listened to Liam's frantic yet overly excited tone. "You've gotta be more careful, Li. They could've killed you."

"Please, I was just a pawn in their war. There was no way the cops were going to stand there and watch an innocent man get slaughtered."

"You have a lot of faith in our police force."

"And you don't?"

"Well, they're more the "shoot first ask questions later" type. I'm not exactly jumping for joy at the fact that you could've been used as bait for cops to get a collar."

Liam groaned and another loud thump was heard, followed by a loud screeching noise. "Look, I've gotta go. I'll meet you back at your place tonight, yeah? Just packing up the last of my stuff for the stay."

"Yeah, okay. I'll see you there."

"That was completely pathetic, you realize that, right?" A voice cut into the thick, silent air just moments later.

Zayn closed his eyes at the sound of his friend's voice, tossing his phone down into his bag again and slipping on the thin glove as he walked back to the punching bag. "What are you doing here?"

"Heard about what happened to those gang bangers on the news; thought you might've been involved."

"And if I was?"

Louis chuckled and shook his head, walking deeper into the empty gym, his shoes thumping softly against the old unpolished wood. "Look, I'm here as a friend, wondering if you need any help. If I remember correctly, it was _you_ that said I'd be more useful if I stayed around because of my superb stitching skills, but if you'd rather me leave then I'll be on my way."

Zayn rolled his eyes and set his stance, holding his arms up, hands close to his face and began hitting the bag again, this time with slower, softer hits. "I do want you to stay around, Lou, but you can be sort of a prick sometimes, you know that?"

"Are you referring to me calling you out on the fact that you're completely in love with Liam yet refuse to admit that to him?"

"I'm not in love with him, Jesus, Louis. He's been my best friend for ten years. Is some sort of admiration not allowed?"

"Admiration, sure. But you and I both know it's a lot more than that." Louis continued, stepping around to the other side of the bag, holding it steady. "Just saying, it'll be a lot easily if you'd at least admit it to yourself."

"And what good would that do? There's still no fucking way we'd ever be able to be together."

Louis scoffed and probably rolled his eyes; Zayn didn't care too much to notice if he did or not. "Does being blind mean your brain can't see the common sense in things, too? Cause if that's the case, you're going to be shit out of luck in a few more years and this conversation wouldn't have mattered either way."

Zayn gave up, which wasn't something he did often, but when it came to the only person who knew who he really was, what he did, what he was capable of, it was harder to skirt around the issues at hand. "Look, Lou, I know as my friend it's basically your duty to want to see me happy, but Liam and me? It's just not going to happen. He's better off not knowing. At least as his friend, I could hide this other part of me from him. As his lover.." Zayn shuddered at the thought and he hoped Louis didn't notice, but that would've been stretching it. "As his lover, I'd have to answer to him. Where I go at night, why do I have more bumps and bruises than usual and I just.. _can't_. He'll ask me to stop and I will because he's Liam and I'm.."

"In love with him."

Though unnecessary, Zayn glared at Louis then pushed the punching bag against him before turning back towards his bag, taking off his gloves and tossing them inside. He put on his shirt and grabbed his glasses from the bench, slipping them on then zipped the bag close. "I have to go. I'll let you know if I ever need you to patch me up, okay? I know you're like completely in love with me, but there's no need to follow me around just so you can touch my body."

Louis made kissy noises as he pressed himself against Zayn's back before chuckling, shoving his shoulder. "See you around, asshole. Have fun with Liam this week."

"I hope you catch a cramp on both legs while you're fucking whatever pretty thing you've met this weekend."

"Mm, and I'll still be having more fun than you, poor soul." Louis blew him a kiss before leaving and Zayn listened to him jogging down the stairs, out of the building, and into his car parked on the curb in front of the main entrance.

Zayn took his time walking him, using his walking stick, though in reality it was the last thing he needed as a semi-blind guy strolling through the streets of New York. But it was always easily leading people to believe he saw nothing but a sea of black from the moment he woke up to the time he fell asleep and even in between, darkness a thing he was very accustomed with. He often wondered if it would be easier than his 'world on fire' description, seeing red and orange more than anything, the occasional blinding light that gave him black spots and knocked him off course. He appreciated what he had, still; it gave him the opportunity to gain stronger senses, smell, hearing, taste, touch. He could hear a baby laughing from a block away, smell the food being cooked at a restaurant down the street. He never took it for granted and he used those skills to make the city a better place; or so, try to make it somewhere people can live safely and not fear for their lives.

When he walked into his loft, Liam was already there. He tried not to invade his best friend's privacy, but when things were so quiet, he couldn't help but listen in. The way Liam sighed softly as he stepped under the running water, threading his fingers through his hair, turning to allow the stream to run down his back. He grabbed the soap and lathered it on his body, starting with his chest and continuing downwards, bending to wash his feet, in between his toes, paying so much attention to the little spots and creases most people just ignore. With a sigh, Zayn tried his best to tune it out, walking to the tall ceiling to floor window that took up half of his living room wall, listening for any sign of trouble, for someone who might need some help but everything was quiet. It was rare for the city to be so still, so calm like the ocean on a windless day. Eerily and yet somewhat refreshing to not have to put on a mask and play the hero for once. Still, his hand itched for a fight and he was unable to stop bouncing his foot against the wood pavement of his living room floor. He'd almost forgotten he wasn't home alone until the door to his bathroom closed and he turned just in time to hear Liam stepping out of his bedroom, smelling like strong Axe body wash, wearing nothing but jogging shorts and, of course, he would be. If he wasn't so insecure about his body, not that he had a reason to be, he'd probably walk around naked considering Zayn's condition.

"Hey, I didn't hear you come in. Hope you don't mind I used your shower. They'd already shut off my water when I got home"

"It's alright. How long are repairs going to take?"

"A couple days, maybe less. Why, are you expecting someone? Cause I could go."

Zayn gave a soft smile and a shake of his head, sliding his hands into the pockets of his sweats. "I wouldn't have let you stay if I had someone coming over, Li. Plus, where would you go? It's not like you have any friends."

"I resent that!" Liam pretended to be hurt, placing a hand against his chest as he scoffed. "I do, too, have friends. Remember Sophia? She's _really_ good friend."

"You should've went and stayed with her then."

Liam chuckled as he made his way to the kitchen, bare feet padding on the floor. "She probably hates me right now for not calling her back the other night."

"You still haven't told me why."

"I was busy. I don't exactly have the luxury of dropping everything to go have sex, now do I?"

Zayn cleared his throat and looked down towards his feet, trying to find someway to change the conversation because he honestly didn't want to think about Liam having sex. Not unless those thoughts were of the two of them and even then he managed to always push them away. "Uh, guess not. You wanna order something to eat? Getting pretty hungry here."

"Sure, what are you feeling like? I could go for some Chinese, but you have a Japanese place around the corner."

"A beer, first, and Chinese sounds good."

Liam chucked lightly and opened the fridge to grab two beers, holding them in one hand as he pulled his phone and out and dialed the Chinese place a few blocks down. He didn't even to ask Zayn for his order, knowing exactly what he'd get, what he likes and it made his stomach turn a little bit at that thought. They knew each other so well, it was almost scary. Granted, they'd been best friends for ten years, shared a home for more than half of that and are now staying together while Liam's apartment gets renovated, but alas.

He set the beers down on the coffee table and Zayn had no choice but to join him, finally moving from the window he'd been standing by for almost an hour and taking a seat on his futon. He listened to Liam as he ordered, uncapping the bottles and taking a swig of his own, settling back against the couch. "I swear, every time it gets harder for these people to understand what I'm saying. I appreciate the Chinese culture, don't get me wrong, but language barriers have always been an ass and a half."

Zayn chuckled around the rim of his bottle, pulling it away from his mouth and wiping his lips with the back of his hand. "You should've taken Chinese in college instead of Latin."

"Latin is the language of romance and who would've thought Chinese would be needed so damn much in New York?"

"The language of romance? So, you've definitely paid thousands of dollars for a semester in Latin to pick up girls?"

It was Liam's turn to laugh now as he finally joined Zayn on the couch, and he didn't even think twice to ask himself why Liam didn't just sit on one of the chairs on the other side of the coffee table. "One girl and she turned out to not be interested. That's what I get though, huh? For trying to chase tail."

"I did try to warn you when you registered."

Liam laughed again and nursed his beer, looking down at Zayn's arm before reaching up to run the bud of his index finger along a cut on his upper forearm. "This one's new."

"Oh, uh.." Zayn covered the cut with his other hand before tugging his sleeves down, giving a light shrug. He remembered how he got it clearly, trying to fight a group of bank robbers, one of whom felt a knife rather than a gun was needed to get the job done."Cut myself the other day trying to open a can. I couldn't find the can opener."

"Why you even have knives is still pretty lost on me. You've really gotta try to be more careful, bud." Liam smiled and took another drink from his beer before shifting on the sofa, tucking one leg up, elbow leaned against the back of couch facing Zayn. "Any other new ones I should be aware of?"

"Is this a kink of yours or something? Seeing how clumsy I am and how many bruises I manage to give myself in a week?"

Liam shook his head and kicked at Zayn's ankle, but didn't move his foot away; left it there resting against him. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Why don't you date more?"

Zayn cleared his throat and reached for his beer, eyebrows scrunched along his forehead. "Huh?"

"Dating. You know, as in going out, expanding your horizons."

"I don't.. uh.." Zayn shrugged, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck as he fixed himself on the couch, taking a sip of his beer just to pass the time. "Don't really have the time, you know? If I'm not at work, I'm at home working on work, and if I not doing either, I'm in the courthouse working on the work I worked on at home and work."

Liam shook his head, pressing two fingers against his temple as he laughed. "You just gave me a major headache."

"Sorry," Zayn laughed and instinctively leaned closer to Liam because his body heat, his very presence instantly made him feel better, secure, _good_. And his best friend never seemed to mind the close proximity, though he knew Liam wouldn't. Unlike Zayn, the other man isn't exactly closed off about his feelings, wants, and needs and it perhaps made things harder for Zayn to not feel the way he does about the other man. "And you? Sophia's obviously not an option so are you planning on finding someone else to spend your nights with?"

"Mm.. probably not. You know me, not exactly the settling down type."

"I can see you fifteen years from now, married with a couple of mini yous running around."

"What a nightmare!" Liam exclaimed with a chuckle, taking another sip of his beer and leaning against his hand, biting his lip and Zayn could _feel_ the heat of his soft brown eyes watching him. Eyes that stopped at his mouth traveled down to his neck back up the length of his jaw up to his hairline down past his nose and back to his lips again. 

Zayn almost moaned when he dropped the very hand he leaned against slowly towards him, using his index finger to brush a few strands of straying hair to tuck behind his ear, traveling downward tracing the shell. He couldn't help the shiver that ran down his spine and his eyes closed momentarily before he cleared his throat and stood up, hands 'guiding' him as he made his way into the kitchen, busying himself with something as useless as washing the dishes. "Um, so I was thinking I'll make up the room for you and you can sleep there. Wouldn't want you to have to sleep on the couch with the.. you know. Whole window situation going on out here."

Liam cleared his throat and straightened out on the couch and Zayn wished he couldn't hear the way his heart was beating rapidly in his chest at the moment. "No, no, I don't want to put you out of your room, Z. I'll be fine out here. It's just for a couple days anyway."

"I insist."

"You insist on a lot of things; doesn't mean I should take your advice."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing," Liam shook his head and took a long drink of his beer, finishing off the bottle and setting it down on the coffee table. "You know what? I'm just going to lay down. Not really that hungry anyway."

"Li.."

"It's fine, Zayn. Just save my food, will you?"

"Yeah.. yeah, okay." Zayn said softly and was met with the light shut of the sliding door, separating his bedroom and the rest of his loft. He could hear Liam sitting on the bed, the soft creak of the springs shifting under his weight, let out of sigh as he brushed his hands over his face before laying down on his side, tucking himself into the smallest ball possible. He seemed so delicate, so innocent, and Zayn automatically hated himself ten times more than he already did.

❀ ғɪᴠᴇ. ❀

"In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen." Liam kissed his thumb knuckle before linking his fingers together, beginning his confession. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been seven days since my last confession." The basics; fornication, taking God's name in vain, being in love with someone who didn't share the same affections for him. Could that even be considered a sin? Or was the sin his continued attempts to make Zayn interested in him? His thoughts of getting the man's guard down long enough if only for one night, one moment of bliss, one heat of passion? He wasn't sure, but going into depths about it with a priest who has known him all his life wasn't about to happen. It's not something he could ever live down and he doubted the man of God wanted to hear every detail of his tainted mind to begin with so spared he was because Liam's mouth to mind filter was complete shit about ninety-eight percent of the time. _"Forgive me, Father._

After saying his Hail Mary's, Liam exited the confession booth and walked out of the church he practically grew up in, tracking down a taxi to take him down to the office where he hoped Zayn was. He woke up that morning to find the living room cleaned up and a plate of breakfast waiting for him on the island separating it from the kitchen. He knew he was being unfair every time he got angry at his best friend for rejecting his subtle advances on him and perhaps he was just being a spoiled brat about it. Liam wasn't the kind of guy that was told 'no' too many times, though Zayn constantly let him know that nothing was ever going to happen between the two of them. He needed to lighten up and appreciate everything that Zayn _did_ do for him, like letting him stay at his house until plumbing and other repairs were being done at his own apartment.

"Mornin', handsome." Harry said cheerily as soon as Liam stepped into the office, handing him a cup of hot coffee. "Where's Zayn?"

Liam looked up at their secretary and good friend, shrugging his shoulders and ultimately ignoring the question altogether, asking one of his own. "How do you always know when I'm coming in? It's a little creepy to think you stand at the window and await our arrival."

"You seem to forget that we own this little thing called cameras." Harry stated, reaching over to turn his tablet around, displaying a camera they instilled in the entrance of their small building and a few displayed in the hallways and waiting area.

"Right. Slips my mind more often than not." Liam walked into his office and took a sip of his coffee after blowing the steam a few times, setting it down on his desk and taking off his suit jacket. "Any messages?"

"Mrs. Garcia called and asked if there was anything new on the tenant case. Says the other apartment renters are getting a bit antsy not getting any word on what's going to happen. They've started tearing down other buildings that have been emptied out last week."

Liam sighed and rubbed at his forehead, giving a slight nod. "Do me a favor and give her a call back. Tell her that we're working as much as we can, but Mr. Oakland's lawyers says he's not willing to budge on how much they're offering. We should have a solution by the end of the week."

"Okay," Harry said with raised eyebrows that let Liam know what wouldn't do much to settle the old lady's nerves, but it was all he had at the moment. "Again, where's Zayn? He's not answering his cell."

"Don't know, Haz. I'm not his keeper."

"Whoa, excuse me. Did you two get in a fight again?"

"No, we didn't. It's just.." Liam shrugged, shuffling a few papers and folders on his desk before sitting down and brushing a hand over his face. "I'm an idiot is all."

"Please don't tell me you tried to kiss him."

"I didn't try to kiss him."

"Because you do that often."

"No, I don't."

"You kind of do. And it's kind of sad how you stare at him with those puppy eyes even though you _know_ he can't see you."

"Are you done?"

"No, but I rather not get punched in the face so I'm going." Harry set another folder down on Liam's already cluttered desk and gave him a small, reassuring smile. "Maybe you should give Soph a call back. She seemed to distract your love for Zayn long enough to make you less grumpy."

"Go suck a dick, why don't you?"

"God, I wish." Harry said before closing the door to Liam's office, leaving him alone once again with his torturous thoughts.

Liam tried his best to focus on the work in front of him, able to get through a few papers, sending and replying to some emails before he opted for staring at the wall in front of him and thinking about everything yet nothing at the same time. And he hated, somewhat, that most of those thoughts centered around Zayn and he knew that Harry was right. It was sad that he pined over him so much and yet his feelings were not reciprocated; that Zayn tried his best to let him down easily by not even letting him down at all. Many would've quit by now, considering the last time they kissed was over eight years ago at a college party where they were both kind of but not really drunk and ended up making out in a basement of some random frat house. They woke up the morning after acting like nothing ever even happened and Liam didn't bring it up again. How could he? Zayn would've just acted like he didn't know what he was talking about and Liam would've let it go, not wanting to be made to be the fool any further. It was honestly completely and utterly hopeless.

A soft knock came to the door before it was pulled open and Zayn walked in with a bag in one hand, his briefcase in the other. His jacket was still on which led Liam to believe that he came to his office before going to his own and that fact made him feel like even more of a dick. "Hey. I, uh.. brought your dinner from last night. Thought maybe you'd want it for lunch."

Liam sighed and stood up, his knees crackling from being in the same position too long, elbows joining in on that chorus as well. "You didn't have to."

"It's okay. I, uh.. kind of got the sense you were mad so.. truce?"

"I'm not mad, Z. I just.." He shrugged as he closed the space between them, reaching down to take the bag from Zayn's fingers, letting the touch last a second longer than it should have before taking a step back. "You didn't do anything wrong. I guess I was just tired and grumpy and you were the closest person in my line of fire."

"Aren't I always?" Zayn smirked and, fuck, Liam wished he didn't cause it always sent his stomach into overdrive and he _hated_ getting butterflies with a burning passion.

"Yeah, I guess you are. I'm sort of a jerk. Can I make it up to you?"

"Cook me dinner and you're forgiven."

"Let me guess, you want Chicken Alfredo?"

"I love that you know me so well." Zayn reached up to pinch Liam's cheek who swatted at his hand and looked at their feet, thankful that he couldn't see the way his face heat bright red; the way his lips trembled.

Liam cleared his throat and went back to his desk, setting his food down and picking up a folder to give to Zayn, explain what he finished and what needed to be done on it before the two men parted ways, his business partner heading to his office on the other side of the large room.

***

The air was sticky, Liam felt disgusting, and the last thing he wanted to do was have a long, dreaded conversation with Sophia, though he got himself into this mess, as per usual. Instead of taking the lunch Zayn so thoughtfully brought to him, he took the two hour break to book a last minute room at a hotel a few blocks down from the office and met his sort of ex., never really girlfriend, long time friend, Sophia Smith---

Who was currently hovering over him, her long black hair tickling his chest and he was trying his best to appear unconscious with slow, steady breaths. "You know I'm not an idiot, right? I _only_ graduated third top of my class at Stanford and am in the running to being the youngest female partner at Landmarker and Kat's prestigious law firm. Stop faking like you're sleeping."

Liam gave up and opened his eyes, letting out a long sigh as he turned to look at those big brown eyes he hated so much yet could get lost in forever. He honestly needed to get his priorities in check. "I don't wanna talk, Soph."

"You never do. Yet here we are. I let you use me to somewhat satisfy your insatiable sexual appetite and all you have to do is be completely honest with me. Which, I know, it's hard to do, but as the defense lawyer to your prosecution, I know how hard that can be."

"You know, you're much, _much_ prettier when you're not talking."

Sophia smacked Liam's stomach with her perfectly fresh manicured hand and it was sure to leave a hand print that he would later regret. "Don't be an asshole, Payne. Now tell me what the hell's been going on with you lately."

"It's my mom, okay? She's been pressuring me to go back home for this family reunion and you.. you just know what that means for me."

"So you have daddy issues, get over it. Your father isn't the same man he was twenty years ago."

"Oh cause you know him so well."

"Because he's bound to a wheelchair for the rest of his life and he can't exactly beat you up and stuff you in a closet, can he?"

Liam shrugged away from Sophia and slipped off the bed, heading towards the bathroom to wash off her thousand dollar perfume. "You can be a real bitch, you know that? I didn't tell you all that shit about me so that you can just throw it back in my face."

"Look, Liam, I had a rough upbringing, too, and that's what makes us crazy and sadistic enough to do the job of a lawyer. Granted, on different sides, but potato, pa-ta-toh." Sophia followed him into the bathroom and slipped up onto the marble sink counter, crossing her long smooth legs together, leaning back against the mirror. "I, personally, think you should go and face your demons. It might do you some good."

"Only if you go back to your hometown and talk to what's his face about what you did to his baby ten years ago."

"Do you want to walk out of here dickless? Cause I arrange that."

Liam smirked and rolled his eyes, turning to switch on the hot water in the glass surrounded shower, steam almost immediately filling the room and spilling out into the bedroom. "Joining me or are you just going to keep sitting there scolding menacingly?"

Sophia shot Liam the bird before hopping off the sink and slipping past him to step into the shower and he joined her a few second after, both getting lost in water and passion.

  
_***_

Liam checked his watch again, the time telling him that Zayn was forty-five minutes late and there was no sign that he was coming any time soon. He hadn't returned any of the three voice mails he'd left him and dinner had long since gotten cold. Liam tried his best not to be pissed off as he cleaned everything up, separating the Chicken Alfredo into two containers and putting them in the fridge, Zayn walking in as soon as he closed it, somewhat out of breath, carrying a huge bag. The fact that he was in sweats was a clear indicator that he came home and left again and was _still_ late to dinner, but Liam wasn't going to bring it up.

"Li? Hey, sorry I'm late. Shit, I lost track of time and just.." He groaned and went to a huge metal door underneath the stairs that lead to the roof, unlocking the deadbolt with a key he always kept on his small gold chain, opening it up and tossing the bag inside. "Did you eat already? I'm so sorry."

"It's fine, Zayn, don't worry about it. I cooked, you know.. didn't expect us to have a heart to heart over creamy noddles and chicken, so." He shrugged and sat down on the arm of the couch, watching Zayn walk up to him and noticing the fact that his eye seemed a little swollen underneath his glasses and his lip had a cut on the lower left side. "You run into a door or something?"

Zayn reached up to touch his lip first then his eye, looking away to walk into the kitchen while unzipping his hoodie. "Yeah, something like that. Uh.. went a couple rounds with this tough dude at the gym."

Liam watched Zayn for a moment as he fixed himself a drink, squinting his eyes across the dimly lit room."Are you fucking insane, Malik? The guy _did_ know you're blind, right?"

"I had my glasses off."

"And you still felt the need to step in the ring with him. I mean, what kind of point are you trying to prove? Or are you deliberately trying to get killed like your father did?"

"Don't." Zayn turned sharply making his way back to Liam, a finger pointed at his chest. "Don't you dare fucking bring my father into this, Liam. That's a low Goddamn point and you know it."

"You're not giving me much of a choice when you're out there making dumb decision."

"It's my life. What the fuck do you care if I get myself killed?"

Liam scoffed and turned away, linking his fingers together and pressing them against the back of his neck and groaned, a sound that turned into a frustrated scream that echoed through the high ceiling of Zayn's life. "I can't fucking believe you just asked me that, Zayn. You've been my best friend since we were in college. That's ten fucking years. Or does that mean nothing to you? Are you that unattached that you're so oblivious to how much you mean to me?"

"I know, Liam, believe me I do because I care about you, too, but I have a life separate from yours and regardless of the choices I make, you have no say in how I run it. Just like I have no say in who you stick your dick in every day.."

Liam laughed bitterly before raising his hands in mock surrender, making his way towards the bedroom in desperate need of another shower after that last statement. "Do what the hell you want, Zayn. Just don't fucking expect me to write the eulogy for your Goddamn funeral."

❀ ғᴏᴜʀ. ❀

He rarely smoked and when he did he was like an addict jonsing for his next fix, fingers shaking as he took cigarette after cigarette out of the box and lit them up, filling his lungs and exhaling out deeply. Zayn's head was a mess and it hurt like all hell, thoughts of Liam and work and being the 'Devil of Hell's Kitchen' as people call him all coming down and resting on his shoulders, weighting them down, making him exhausted. But sleep never came easy to him; another cruel _fuck you_ to him from the Big Man Upstairs, he assumed. He dropped his hands to the edge of the rooftop and pressed his forehead against his arm, focusing and listening to the steady sound of Liam's breaths from his apartment, almost so peaceful but with a sense of force. As if he was making himself sleep and Zayn really couldn't blame him. Anything to rid his head of the thoughts jumbled up in there would help and he was glad that Liam, if anyone, could get that peace.

Zayn thought about earlier and the reason he was late for dinner, almost, _almost_ asking himself if it was worth putting on that mask instead of being where he was supposed to be. A woman was getting beat half to death by her ex husband who'd came to her house drunk, the kids watching from the top of the stairs though they probably assumed they were asleep. He smacked her around a bit, tossed her on the couch, called her degrading names, and Zayn waited until he was out of the house, chugging down a bottle of cheap Whiskey to make his move. He wrapped his arm around his neck and squeezed tightly, climbing onto him like a monkey on a tree, holding as the bigger man thrashed around and cursed him to damnation, threatening his very existence. Zayn jumped off him and kicked at the back of his knee, knocked him down enough to grab his arm but the man quickly swing with the other, bruising up his left eyes with his knuckles and cutting his lip open with the strong of his wrist. It took Zayn back a bit, but he quickly gained his composure and roundhouse kicked him in the jaw, sending him to the gravel ground with a loud thud. He slipped on top of the man and grabbed both his arms, twisting them onto his back enough to make his shoulders pop and crack, the guy screaming out in agony, legs kicking below him. _"Touch that woman again and it'll be the last thing you ever touch in your life. Be an example for your kids who now have the image of you beating up their mom for the rest of your life. Get yourself together, you hear me? If you can't manage it, get the hell out of my city. Tonight. Don't you dare make me come back."_

Liam woke up with a soft gasp and Zayn quickly dropped the unfinished cigarette burning between his fingers to make his way down to his apartment, taking off the jacket he had on and resting it on the railing before descending the stairs. He ran a hand through his hair as he stood at the door separating the two of them, noting that it wasn't closed all the way. He slid it open just enough so that his body could fit through the crack and he knew instantly that Liam was watching him through the darkness, but it didn't make him walk away, recoil as he would've done before and he wasn't exactly sure why this time was any different. It felt like he stood there for years, hearing Liam's heart beat a thousand times, slowly gaining rapid speed and skipping a few beats and soft breaths escaping from his plump pink lips. Zayn rested his body against the edge of the door, head following and he'd give anything to have his sight fully restored to see Liam right now, shirtless, laying on his bed with a sliver of his black silk sheet draped over his ass and lower back, one leg bent at the knee, the other laying straight. His arms were tucked under a large pillow and Zayn could practically feel the way his fingers curled into the material.

"You never could go to sleep when someone was mad at you."

Zayn smirked and pressed his back against the edge of the door, ankles crossing at his feet and he lifted one shoulder in a light shrug. "I was an idiot, I realize that."

"It's common for you to be at times, but who isn't?" Liam turned onto his side, tucking his hands under his cheek, legs curled up against him. "I'm not mad, though. I just wish you would realize the dangers of your choices."

"I do. Believe me, I do, but fighting.." Zayn sighed and closed his eyes and he wished that he didn't have to lie to Liam, twist the facts about what he was doing into something else entirely so that he could ease his best friend's worries. "It's just something that makes me feel more connected to my dad. He didn't want me to fight, I know that, but he's not exactly around to talk me out of it. You are and it makes me somewhat inclined to listen, but you're not him, Liam. And I just wish you'd trust me enough to believe me when I say that I know what I'm doing."

Liam stared over at him for what seemed felt like centuries and Zayn could practically smell the lust emerging from him, could feel his eyes surveying every inch of his skin, and he had to ball his hands at his sides to keep himself from tugging at his clothes from sheer nerves at the rise in his desire. "Come here." Liam's voice was raspy, sleepy, and fuck, Zayn's insides shivered at the mere sound of it hugging him like a warm blanket in the dead of winter.

Zayn moved instantly because Liam is the only person in the world that could get him to do something on command, without hesitation, without thinking. He stepped close enough for Liam's knees to bump into his shins and Zayn nearly moaned when he spread his legs enough for him to fit between them, even closer still. "Li.."

"Yeah?" Liam questioned, bringing a hand up to grab Zayn's, his other curling around his lower thigh, urging him closer and Zayn couldn't breathe. Every inch of his skin felt as if it was burning.

" _Liam.._ " He sighed, lifting one leg followed by the other, enough to slide into Liam's lap easily, knees digging into his soft mattress as their bodies bumped against each other. He reached up to curl his small arms around the other man's neck, fingers threading to the short hairs at the base. He leaned forward, pressing their forehead's together and they breathed in each other's air, Liam's fingers sliding under Zayn's tank enough to caress the small of his back and cause goosebumps to rise on his skin. The two moved at the exact moment like mirror images of each other and the second their lips touched, a chorus of moans rumbled from both of their chests.

It wasn't the first time they kissed. College was a crazy time and the both of them insisted on getting drunk more often than they talked themselves out of it, but it had been years. God, and the years have seemed to stretch on with torturous memories of the way Liam's lips felt against his, how it felt to touch him, how his sounds seemed to stick to every part of his body like a layer of wet drops he couldn't wipe off. And not to mention the way Liam was so soft with him, treating him so carefully as if he were the most breakable being on earth, holding him close but not enough to squeeze him so not to hurt him, moving his lips against opposite mouth thoughtfully, almost calculated, but not unpleasant.

Never unpleasant.

"Li," Zayn whined again, his toes curling as he felt his cock swell in his sweats and press up against Liam's own, hips moving instinctively and the friction was _too_ much for him to handle. If he didn't possess a certain level of self control, this would've been over way too quickly, regretfully. He felt Liam's large strong hands slide up the length of his thighs and over the curve of his ass, pushing their hips closer together, rolling up against him with a deep moan accompanying, one that seemed to echo throughout the room and cling to the walls. Zayn was first to break the seal of their locked lips to take in a deep breath, giving himself a single second before he kissed Liam's neck and trailed down to his strong shoulders and collarbones. He buried his nose in the nest of hair on Liam's chest and pressed a kiss over his rapidly beating heart before pulling away. The other man had taking hold of his tank top, tugging it up and over his head, tossing it carelessly behind him before mimicking Zayn's actions, kissing down the center of his his chest. He stopped enough to suck a nub into his mouth, thick tongue flickering over the hardness and scraping his teeth along the sensitive skin making Zayn's head spin as he leaned it back and bit his lip and held Liam closer. 

Liam pulled away and lifted his head to kiss over the stubble covering Zayn's chin, rubbing the tip of his nose over his jawline before mumbling against the crook of his neck. "You're so beautiful, Zayn.."

"Touch me." Zayn shook, arching his back to press his chest onto Liam's and buried his nose into his hair, arms wrapped around him like an attached cat against their owner. Liam's fingers danced along his grinding hips, making their way under the hem of his loose sweats, over the naked swell of his ass, and inching towards the throbbing core of him, hole practically weeping to be devoured. Two impossibly soft digits pressed up against the sensitive part of him and tears pricked up at the side of Zayn's eyes; it'd been way too long since he'd had any kind of pleasure and for it to be from Liam, to finally know what it was like to be _touched_ by him so intimately made his chest hurt as if someone were squeezing his bleeding heart. He used his opposite hand to spread one cheek as fingers slowly slipped inside the tight heat, one followed by the other seconds later and Zayn was in such a blissful state he didn't feel the way his nails were digging into Liam's shoulders, not that the older man seemed to mind. " _God_ , Liam.."

"Wanted this for so long.." Liam's voice quivered as he spoke and his lips found their way to Zayn's ear, sucking the lobe into his warm mouth, alternating between nibbles and licks. "So, so pretty.."

Zayn decided to keep at least one of his hands busy, sliding the palm of his right one down Liam's chest until it disappeared underneath his boxers, fingers wrapping around his cock, his own hard flesh rubbing tightly against his arm. Liam vibrated against him and Zayn only stroked him in response, rolling his hips against the fingers inside of him, thighs shaking as the pleasure was starting to make his spine tighten, heat flowing upward and blurring his mind. He didn't want this to end; the last thing he wanted to do was part from Liam for even a second, but he knew a few more minutes his body would betray his deepest desires and give into the pleasures he'd deprived himself of for way too long.

And as Liam's fingers reached deep inside of him, all it took was for a simple graze against the tight bundle of nerves to send him into a downward spiral, his cock twitching as his came, hips still, mouth weeping, a tear trickling down the left side of his face. "L... _Liam_..!"

"Fuck, Z.." Liam responded and kissed his jaw, still moving his fingers inside of him, not releasing even the tiniest inch and Zayn was silently grateful. "My pretty boy.."

Zayn knew he wasn't too far behind and he sped up the strokes of his trembling hand, mind whirling as Liam traced every inch of the vein that ran down his neck using the tip of his tongue then branding him with a sweet suck of his luscious lips at the base meeting the collarbone. Liam grunted out so obscenely, hips jerking as his orgasm rose and Zayn didn't stop the movement of his hand until it was covered in hot, sweet come, Liam's echoing sounds filling his ear and traveling all the way down to his stomach that settled and set another fire ablaze within him. And to make matters worse, Liam removed Zayn's hand from inside of his boxers, lifting it to his own mouth to lick at the fingers eagerly with soft hums before pressing their lips together, tongue slithering inside the awaiting cave to feed him the addicting taste.

The two of them stayed in that position for a few minutes, regulating their ragged breathes and heavily beating hearts and Zayn wanted so much more than what he'd been given, but his eyes were stinging with tears and his chest burned as if he'd just taken a chug of acid, and he needed to get as far away from Liam as humanly possible. This wasn't supposed to happen; it was never supposed to happen but now that it has, he won't be able to take it back and he knew Liam wouldn't let him even if he tried.

"Stay..?"

"I shouldn't."

Zayn heard Liam's disappointed sigh and it sounded so much worse being an inch away from him then it would from across the room. "Pretend we're in college. Pretend we just got shit drunk and fell into bed together."

"It's not college, Li, and we didn't just _fall_ into bed together. This.. It isn't what friends do."

"Some friends do this."

"It isn't what _we're_ supposed to do." Zayn whispered because he didn't trust his voice at full power right now. His insides were trembling and his mind was a big jumbled mess that he couldn't even begin to piece back together if he tried. "Fuck, I wish I could move right now, but you just.."

"I know.." Liam whispered, rolling his forehead against the length of Zayn's, dropping his hand to wrap his arms around the small waist. "I don't want it to end, either. Please stay?" Zayn was such a pathetic weak soul and he couldn't help the nod that expelled from him and the next second later, Liam was pulling them into the bed and hugging him close to his warm chest. Rain started tattering against the window outside and it perhaps was a metaphor to the way Zayn felt inside; a beauty that cast a storm doomed to bring darkness and bad aurora; an unstoppable entity that he'd just have to live with. Because he knew this wouldn't be the last he could have of Liam, no matter how much self control he possessed... especially not when Liam is sliding off his wet boxers and kicking them to the end of the bed and pressing his lips against Zayn's ear as his fingers inched towards the hem of his sweats and soft, _"can I?"_ making his world crumble into nothingness around him. And he, the pathetic weak soul, nodded with gusto, pressing his body against Liam's naked one once he was fully undressed and allowed himself one night of undeniable pleasure that he'd soon regret once the rain subsided and the sun shined again.

❀❀❀

Liam wasn't surprised that he woke up alone, the side of Zayn's bed cold to his touch, fingers running over the silk sheets before his eyes even cracked open to see the empty space. He thought he'd be used to it by now, waking up to find Zayn gone. It happened in college _every single morning_ and it followed into adulthood, the few times Liam stayed over drunk off his ass and he'd beg for Zayn to cuddle with him only to regain consciousness with lonely arms. He tried not to take it personally, tried to brush it off and just chuck this into one of those things Zayn does that he'd have to deal with, but his heart hurt at the thought of never having been able to see the man he loved, his best friend, with crazy, sexy bed hair, rubbing on his sleepy brown eyes.

With a sigh, Liam turned to lay on his stomach, grabbing the closest pillow Zayn was laying on and breathed in his scent and it was... okay, admittedly it was a bit creepy, but he missed the other man whenever he wasn't around. Missed watching him, smiling like a dumb idiot at the small things he did that he wasn't even aware of. He missed Zayn's smile, the way he bit his lip when he was thinking of what to say, and brushed his hand through his hair when he giggled, his other hand pressed against his chest. Liam wondered if he'd ever get Zayn out of his system, if he'd ever get over the man who show little to no interest in him, his best friend.

The answer was no. Liam knew this all too well and confirmed it when he started grinding his hips against the soft mattress and thoughts of the way their bodies moved together last night invaded his mind. He wanted it to continue, wanted Zayn to _want_ to make love after they undressed, but they laid there for nearly an hour before sleep overtook Liam and he was glad to be rid of the disappointment bubbling inside of him. But it wasn't enough to make his desires take a backseat to his pride and the smell of Zayn clinging to the sheets, to his skin made him want him so much more and his body trembled with need, muffling his moans with his face pressed against the pillow. Liam bent his knees up and reached a hand down to circle around his throbbing cock, squeezing the swollen head, imagining Zayn's soft hand stroking him, how his sweet breath tickled the side of his neck, and his pretty moans filled his ear. "F-fuck, Z.."

It was too late to recover by the time Liam heard the sliding door of Zayn's bedroom slam open and a loud, _very loud_ , voice calling out the wake up chant. "Jesus!" Liam shouted as he fell to his side on the bed, scrambling for the thin silk cover.

"Oh.. **oh** ," The man's eyes widened as he took in Liam's frame, stopping midway down before snapping back up to his face. "You are definitely not Zayn."

"No shit." Liam said flustered, his entire body temperature spiking as he sat up and covered himself as much as possible even if all he wanted to do was sink into the mattress and never see the light of day again. "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm, uh.. Um, Zayn's friend.. I guess you can say." The man shifted the weight from one leg to the other and Liam almost asked out loud why the fuck he hasn't turned around yet or walked the hell out of the room. "Okay.. so wait, let me guess.. you're Liam."

"Um, yeah. Nice to know I'm being talked about considering I'm never heard Zayn mention a friend who has his house key."

"Louis," The man chuckled and shrugged his shoulders before fucking _moving closer_ , grabbing a cup of coffee from the holder and stretching his arm out towards Liam. "And I'll pretend I'm not completely hurt by that statement."

Liam hesitated for a moment before bunching up the sheets in one hand and taking the coffee from the stranger, because really he needed it more than anything now, and set it on the bedside table, clearing his throat. "Can you, like.. give me a second to change, maybe?"

He didn't miss the way Louis' eyebrows shot up to towards the sky and he really couldn't have pretended to be more surprised at the fact that Liam was butt ass naked under the covers right now. "Sure! Yeah, I'll just.. actually, can you just tell Zayn I stopped by? He's not answering my calls and I'm starting to think he's avoiding me. Though, seeing who's in his bed, I can't exactly blame him for doing so."

"Sure, yeah.." Liam cleared his dry throat and scratched the side of his neck that began to burn up again. "I'll let him know you were here."

"Great! It was nice finally meeting you, Liam."

"Yeah, nice meeting you.." Liam mumbled and waited until the man was out of the room, the door shut tightly between them before letting out a long breath and wiped his hands over his face. He quickly stood up and went to the bathroom to start up the shower, brushing his teeth before stepping inside to wash off all and any evidence of last night.

And he was completely surprised and somewhat annoyed that twenty minutes later he walked out to find Louis still there, sitting on the couch with his head buried in his phone, feet perched up on the coffee table in front of him.

"Oh, hey! Zayn said he'd be here any minute so I thought I'd just wait. Unless you two have.. uh, I don't know, plans?"

"We don't have plans," Liam said bitterly, crossing his arms over his chest because he didn't put on a shirt and his self consciousness was not exactly high right now. Especially since Louis looked like he was sporting a nice little body under the tight workout tank top he had on. "So, how exactly did you and Zayn meet? We've been friends for ten years and I thought I knew everyone he knew."

Louis smiled and set his phone down on his lap, shrugging lightly. "Everyone is entitled to their secret friends, no?" When Liam didn't respond, Louis continued. "We met at the hospital. I'm a nurse, he needed medical attention and I gave it to him."

"And now you're here, in his house with your feet kicked up waiting on his return. How do you jump from patching him up to that?"

"I think maybe Zayn should explain that," Louis cleared his throat and slid his feet off the coffee table to stand up, pocketing his phone. "And I can sense you don't want me here so I'll just---"

"Are you two lovers?"

Liam's eyes bore into Louis' and he knew he sounded like a jealous boyfriend right then, but he couldn't help the ugliness that boiled up inside of him at the thought of someone else touching Zayn. The hypocrite that he was considering he couldn't keep it in his pants long enough when it came to Sophia. "Once." Louis admitted, crossing his arms over his chest as well, only more defensively. "But something tells me if he was otherwise involved we wouldn't have been."

He had a point there and Liam hated that he did. If Zayn was anything else, he was loyal to everyone that he knew and everyone that he dated. Not that there were many. There was this one dude in college that Zayn nearly destroyed his life for, skipping classes, flunking exams, staying out to the break of dawn and sleeping the day away just to do it all again when he woke up. When the guy left with no explanation, Zayn fell back into his routine and it was so frightening the way that he did, as if it didn't phase him, even though Liam knew it did, that he didn't question him about it. And now Louis. Liam was still unsure how deeply their relationship ran, but something told him it was a little more serious than the man was leading it on to be. "Do you love him?"

"Look, Liam," Louis closed the gap between them, standing his a few itches apart from Liam and his head tilted his a bit to look up at him. Before Louis could say another word, though, Zayn was walking into the house carrying a few bags, dragging them along the wooden floor. Louis moved first to walk over and help him, taking one and allowing Zayn to walk in front of him as he closed the door. "What's all this then?"

"Uh, just clothes and stuff. What are you still doing here, Lou? I told you I'd meet you later."

"Yeah, I didn't think it'd be that big of a deal but since I'm not wanted by two people now, I think I'll take my leave."

"No, no, that's not.." Zayn grabbed Louis' hand before he could walk away and Liam looked down at the ground so he didn't have to watch how tender his best friend was with the other man. "It's not what I meant."

"You two need to talk so I'll just go. Got a feeling he doesn't like me much anyway."

Liam wasn't about to tell them that he could still hear their whispered conversation, but it made his stomach twist up within him, his eyes closing and jaw setting. "It's not that he doesn't like you, it's just.."

"If you say complicated, I'll punch the shit out of your dick."

"Lou.."

"Just.. call me later when you're not dealing with.. all this. Okay?"

Zayn was quiet for a moment and Liam couldn't help but look over, seeing how sad he looked, at the way his hand still held Louis' small tattooed wrist, and he wanted to absolutely crumble. "I'll call you."

Half a minute later, they were alone, Zayn facing towards the door Louis just walked out of, Liam starting at him, and the silence continued for another minute and Liam's mind to mouth filter was obviously broken as he spoke. "He said you two were lovers once."

Zayn sighed and finally dropped his head, removing his glasses to brush a hand over his face. "A long time ago."

"You never mentioned him."

"I didn't think I had to."

"We tell each other almost everything, Zayn."

"And yet you didn't think it important to tell me you saw Sophia yesterday."

Liam frowned and flinched back because how could he possibly know that? He didn't tell anyone and Sophia definitely didn't say anything. "We met for lunch."

"You met for more than just lunch." Zayn stated and stood up, walking over to Liam and didn't stop until their chests bumped into each other, leaning up on his toes to whisper in his ear. "I could _smell_ her on you last night."

"Z.."

"Don't. Look, I'm just saying. You have your secrets, I have mine. Louis and I.. we have this understanding. We tried this once, but it obviously didn't work out so we stayed as friends. He was okay with our arrangement and so was I. That was the end of it."

Liam stepped back and crossed his arms over his chest again, still feeling somewhat exposed. "So, why didn't you tell me about him then? If it was so innocent."

"I never said it was innocent. It just.. it never came up, okay? We don't talk often."

"He has a key."

"God, Liam. What's with the Goddamn third degree? What happened between us last night doesn't give you the right to try and pry yourself into a life I didn't tell you about because I didn't _want_ to tell you. You're fucking suffocating sometimes! I wanted something that was mine, something away from you and in a way I was still being conscious of your feelings because even though you can talk about fucking Sophia six ways from Sunday, if I even mentioned looking in a guy's direction, you'd get all sulky and climb into that stupid shell of yours until I tell you that it wouldn't work out between me and said guy. You want me to be completely and utterly available to you because you think you deserve to have me if I'm ever willing and able to say that I want a relationship with you. It's not going to happen, Liam, and I can't fucking wait until you realize that because you're driving me insane."

In ten years, all Liam wanted was for some miracle to happen, some new medical mystery to be solved so that Zayn could see again, but in that moment, as the tears streamed down his face, he was glad his best friend was blind. Unable to see the way his entire face crumbled, how his hand shook, how his shoulders slumped and perhaps he deserved all of this, everything Zayn said. "I, um.." Liam cleared his throat and nodded, wiping a few tears from his face. "I'll have my stuff out in a couple minutes. You, uh.. Yeah. Just.. a couple minutes."

"Liam, wait.."

"It's fine, Zayn. I've intruded long enough. I'll be out of your hair in no time."

❀ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ. ❀ ᴛᴡᴏ. ❀ ᴏɴᴇ. ❀

LiAnne was probably two seconds from calling the cops and sending Liam into a twelve hour lock up the way he'd been coming to her bar for the last two nights, drinking up anything that he could possible fit in his stomach in one sitting. The first night he nearly stripped on top of the bar when one of his favorite songs came on and LiAnne had to get some of the guys to drag him down and into a taxi. Last night, he threw up all over the place and made a complete mess out of the bathroom and made it look like something out of exorcist. And tonight, well, tonight he was completely and utterly depressed and decided to call it an early night, quitting after a bottle of Vodka and threw a couple hundreds LiAnne's way even if that probably didn't even put a dent into his running tab. He grabbed his jacket and stumbled out of the bar, deciding the night was nice and cool enough to take a stroll down a few blocks to his apartment.

He hadn't talked to Zayn since the night they had that fight. Zayn tried to stop him from leaving, but Liam was so embarrassed and hurt that looking at his best friend wasn't an option and all he wanted to do was put a few countries worth of distance between them. He even tried to book a ticket to England to visit his mom, but he remembered his passport had gotten lost and, well, that was the end of that thought. He mostly worked from home and had Harry keep him up to speed on everything that was happening in the office and talked to clients on the phone because meeting up with them in person wasn't an option the way he looked currently. He knew it was ridiculous and over the top and so, so pathetic, but he felt as if his marriage ended, as if his long life love decided to call it quits and never wanted anything to do with him again. His heart had never hurt so badly and he hadn't cried so much in his entire life and he just really, really fucking missed Zayn. If all he could have was to hear his voice one more time, he would take it.

"Hey!" Liam heard someone in the distance call, but he ignored it because it mostly likely wasn't for him. He looked around and realized he'd been walking the wrong way the entire time and the buildings began to look more and more older and worn out. "Hey, you! Rich boy! Come on over here and show me a good time, papi."

Okay, now he was definitely being talked to. Liam quickly rounded a corner into an alleyway and hoped that it had some sort of a shortcut back to LiAnne's where he knew he'd be safe, but it was nothing but a dead end. He soon heard scuffling behind him, heavy boots scraping against the gravel ground and the man's voice echoed in the small space. 

"Trying to run away from me, eh? Now you got nowhere to go."

"P-please. Look, I don't have any money, okay? I'll give you what I've got, but it's not much."

"Who's says I want your money, _puto_?" Liam wasn't that advanced in the world of weapons, but he was sure that the click of a gun was a known sound all around the world but absolutely everyone. "Maybe I just want you on your knees like a good little bitch."

"Please.. please, I'll give you anything you want. My watch, my wallet, just.. don't.. please.."

"Mm.. I like it when they beg," The man chuckled and inched closer and Liam couldn't move, frozen to the spot in the middle of a dirty alleyway as the skies opened up above them and thunder rumbled. "On your knees, _puto_."

"God, please.."

"On your knees!" The man screamed and Liam fell to the ground when the butt of the gun smacked against the side of his head and he instantly felt blood gushing down his face. "You assholes never know how to take direction. _Cabrón blanco_ ," Liam heard the clinging of a belt buckle and he closed his eyes, tried to tune everything out and accept that what was about to happen could not be avoided.

After a few minutes of nothing happening, he opened his eyes and saw the figure of another man fighting his attacker, the two exchanging hard, heavily blows and Liam almost considered searching around for the gun that was undoubtedly laying somewhere on the wet pavement. He watched through tear-filled eyes as the masked man was pushed against the wall, the attacker on the ground trying to reach for his gun and flinched back when he was kicked and sent flying onto his back. 

Liam watched as the masked man hit him repeatedly with malice and he knew that he would've killed him and he wasn't sure why he cared. The man just tried to assault him, but Liam couldn't live with himself if he just wanted someone else get murdered in front of him, no matter how bad of a person they were. "Stop," Liam moaned and he watched the masked man stop immediately, his entire frame shaking. "S-stop, don't.. he's.. he's out." 

The man moved too quickly and stumbled against the wall and Liam scrambled closer to him, wanted to get a view of the man who was continuously saving him. Though he knew the mask hid half his face and he was sure he would pull it down further, or just run away, if someone got close enough to him. "Why do you keep saving me?" Liam asked, dragging himself on his knees to the wall where the man stood ten feet away, groaning as he pulled himself up. "Why are you always around, getting me out of shit I fall into? Who the hell even are you, running around here in that mask?" 

"You should get home," Was what he said, obviously ignoring all his questions, but Liam didn't think it'd be that easy to get any answers out of a man who obviously did everything in his power to keep himself hidden from the public. "I'll follow close behind, make sure you get there safely." 

"I don't need a bodyguard, you know? I can take care of myself and honestly, it's quite a damn bruise to my ego to have you fight all my battles." 

He would've hurt you.. or worse." 

"And that would've been my fate, the way God destined it to be." 

The man snorted softly and Liam almost missed it, the next second a loud thunder rolling up above. "You believe in that crap if you want to, but I'm not just going to let you get yourself killed built on your faith." 

"Who are you?" Liam asked after a few moments of silence, rain beginning to come down at a fast speed, crashing into the pre-filled puddles around their feet. "Why do you care whether I live or die?" 

"Can't explain it. I just.. I just do." 

"That's not an answer." 

"That's the only one I've got. Go home. Please." 

"I need you to explain. I'm not going to be able to sleep at night without knowing why you're doing this for me. Why you keep following me around, playing God, deciding that I should live. I need to know, damnit!" 

"You don't get to know!" The man scream and Liam's insides trembled; not with fear, but with anger of the unknown, of his questions being stepped around and this feeling that this man was someone that knew him more on a personal level. "There are somethings that are better left unsaid and that's just something you're going to have to accept so just please go home. Take a bath, relax, and go to sleep knowing that someone out there other than your God is watching out for you. And you should really be grateful because it's more than most people get." 

Liam opened his mouth to respond, but everything blurred out at the moment and the last thing he saw was the man pushing himself off the wall, the last thing he heard was the sound of the gun blasting and echoing off the tattered walls before everything went dark as his body fell to the ground. 

❀❀❀

Five hours, sixteen minutes, and forty-seven seconds. That was how long it took for Liam to wake up after the bullet plunged into his side and he was rendered unconscious. The doctors say he's lucky to be alive, say that if the bullet was just a few inches to the right or the left, it would've punctured a major organ and saving him would be nearly impossible. Zayn stayed by his side from the minute he came out of surgery, watched as his chest rose and fell in a slow rhythm, held his hand, silently cried, cursed the God up above for ever allowing this precious man and beautiful soul to be hurt because of him.

"Ow.." Liam moaned as soon as he came out of it and he tried to sit up, but Zayn quickly pressed a hand against his shoulder to keep him laying down.

"It's best you stay horizontal right now, Li.. I'll go get the doctor."

"Don't." He said with a groan and grimaced, eyes cracking open just a few moments later. "Don't, I'm fine. And I've most likely been poked and prodded enough for one night."

"They can give you pain medicine."

"I probably deserve to be in pain right now anyway."

"Don't say that." Zayn frowned and reached up to brush the hair from Liam's forehead, shaking his head. "You never deserve to be in pain."

Liam's eyes softened and his licked at his dry lips, blinking slowly and Zayn just _knew_ he looked so beautiful, even hooked up a ton of machines and was probably hurting like hell. "You're here."

"You got shot. Of course I'm here."

"I thought you hated me.."

"Li.. God, I could never hate you. You're my best friend in the world." Zayn reached back to grab the chair he'd been sitting on, knelling on it to lean against the bed and grabbed Liam's hand, bringing it up to his lips to press a kiss against his palm. "I was terrified that you wouldn't make it."

"You'd never let me die mad at you."

Zayn laughed at the same second that a tear slipped from his eye and he thought he could control his emotions enough but his chest started heaving and more tears followed and his throat closed up on him. The fear that he could've lost Liam forever was still haunting him even in the safety of the hospital room and Zayn knew that he would never stop blaming himself if that happened.

"Z.. Don't cry. Please.."

"I was so fucking scared, Liam."

"I know, but hey. I'm here, okay? You can't see me, but I'm still here and I'm alive and I'm going to be okay. In a few weeks, I'll be walking around annoying you again and you'd wish I'd get shot again just to give you some please."

"No," Zayn couldn't help but laugh, dropping his head to press it against Liam's arm. "No.. you can annoy me as much as you want, just promise you won't get shot again."

"Okay, I promise." Liam chuckled and groaned, reaching for his side as he cleared his throat. "Did.. did anyone tell you what happened?"

Zayn tensed up and he wished he could just tell Liam everything right then and there, but it wasn't the time nor the place. "A mugger or something, right? I told you you shouldn't be walking around at night by yourself."

"I know, but.. This Devil of Hell's Kitchen or whatever.. he saved me again, Z. I don't know what it is about him, but I feel like I know him. He's always there.. saving me. Protecting me. I'm never scared at night because I know he's there. I feel him."

"Wow, he, uh.. Yeah, I guess you're just lucky, huh?"

"Yeah," Liam said and Zayn could feel his heart rate rising and the machine he was hooked up only proved that. "Yeah and, well.. I had a vision while I was unconscious. I had a vision that he.. the masked man, the Devil, whatever you want to call him, was you."

"Me?" Zayn chuckled and leaned back, brushing a hand over his hair as he shook his head. "That's.. uh, ridiculous."

"Is it? It would explain why this guy is always around when I'm getting myself into trouble. You'd never let me get hurt, Z. You're the only person in the world I know that would put yourself in between me and a gun. It would explain all the bumps and bruises you get yet never have a good excuse for. It would even explain why you have a nurse at your beck and call."

"You're thinking way too much into this, Liam. If I was.. this guy.. I.. I would tell you."

"You wouldn't." Liam shook his head, the back of his hair scraping against the itchy pillowcase. "You wouldn't because you know good and damn well that I wouldn't let you run around this damn city in a mask risking your life to save others."

"Liam.."

"I'm only going to ask you once. Please do not lie to me, Zayn. Are you him?"

Zayn closed his eyes and covered his face with his hand, his heart beating hard against his chest and his entire world shaking around him, like the thunderstorm continuing to cast a dark gloom over the city. "There were so many times I wanted to tell you.."

"Jesus, Zayn!"

"I'm sorry, Liam. I'm sorry, but this is something I've needed to do and telling you wasn't an option because I didn't want you risking getting caught in the middle of all of this."

"In the middle of what?" Liam shouted and Zayn knew explaining this wouldn't be easy to him. "In the middle of you going out there and getting yourself killed?"

"I've trained since I was a little boy to fight. I wasn't in any danger."

"Not in any dan--- Are you _crazy_? I've watched the news, okay? I've seen the shit that you've done, the people you've taken down. You have enemies, notorious enemies that won't hesitate to kill you if they happen to get out of jail and you think you're not in any danger?"

"I can take care of myself. What I can't do is have you thinking you can throw yourself into this just to try and protect me and risk you getting hurt because of me." Zayn stood up and reached for Liam's hand but he pulled away quickly, shaking his head again. "Li, please, don't be angry with me. I couldn't tell you.. I couldn't. You're my best friend and I.."

"You and I were never friends, Zayn, don't fool yourself. From the moment we met, there was always something more. The way I felt when you looked at me even though you couldn't _see_ , the way I shook whenever your skin touched mine. God, Z, that's not the way friends feel about each other." Liam sighed and angrily wiped at a tear escaping from his eye, looking out the large hospital window into the night sky.

"Liam."

"Don't." Liam cut him off again and sighed shakily and Zayn could _feel_ him vibrating with clenched teeth. "Even if I did get in your way, which I wouldn't, how do you figure I'd be in danger from just knowing your secret?"

"Because you wouldn't let me do what I had to do and, Liam, I don't know if you noticed but every time you said jump, I asked how high. This city needs me in that mask. It's suffocating even now as we speak and if I'm not out there putting bad guys in the streets where they belong, you've would've died a week ago when those gang bangers were treating you as a bargaining chip." Zayn wanted to move closer, his hands shook with the desire to touch Liam, to hug him, to comfort him, but his feet stayed glued where they were though ready to comply if Liam asked for him to leave. "And if I did tell you and something happened to you anyway, there would be nothing, absolutely nothing, keeping me from unleashing hell on whoever hurt you and then everyone would know my secret and guess where I'd end up? I'd be lucky to get thrown in a mental institute, but that would be too kind."

Liam stayed quiet for a long while and if Zayn couldn't hear his steady heart beat, he'd think he was asleep and he silently wished for that to be the case. "Anything else you need to confess while we're at it? Like, I don't know, how the hell you can do half the shit you can do. Fight like that when you can't even see."

"That's not exactly the whole truth." Zayn sighed and sat down again, completely worn down, exposed, terrified of losing the one person in this world he can count on to keep him sane. "I.. I can't see the way that you can see. My vision is.. mumbled, discolored. I describe it the best that I can as "world on fire." When the chemicals burned my retinas, it did something to my other senses. I can hear stuff happening from blocks away or floors down. I can hear a heart beating from across the room. I can smell the sandwich you ate two days ago and practically taste the liquor still running through your veins. I know when someone is lying, I know when someone is sad even if they try to mask their voice to seem happy. I use feelings and a heart rate to determine what move my opponent is going to take and I just.. wish for the best."

"Oh, my God.." Liam reached up to cover his face and Zayn hated that he knew he was trying so hard not to cry, that his shoulders were shaking with emotion and that his stomach tightened with the more words he spoke. "I can't.. believe this. It's too much. You.. All this time, you've kept this from me."

"I'm sorry, Liam."

"Can you go?" Liam took a deep shaky breath, wiping at his face and clearing his throat. "I'm really tired and in pain and.. I want to be alone for a second so just please.. go."

❀❀❀

Zayn wasn't much of a religious man. His dad was a Catholic, tried to instill his beliefs in his son, but it never really took much after his vision was taken from him. But walking around the hospital, he found himself in the chapel, on his knees, head bowed, asking God for strength to continue on this mission he put on his shoulders three years ago. The mission to save the city he loved, to rid it of all the bad people that turned it into one of the worse cities in New York to live in, to restore back to it's former glory of happiness and safety. He knew it would be harder to do that _and_ stick to his promise not to turn into a cold bloodied killer in order to get the job done if Liam wasn't by his side anymore. Even if his best friend didn't know about his identity, he was helping him by keeping his head leveled, by simply existing and that was enough to want Zayn to continue to be good. Good enough to be worthy of Liam's love even if he couldn't bring himself to return it.

He gave Liam an hour before he returned to see if he still wanted to be left alone and was surprised to notice Louis standing over him taking his vitals, his best friend sleeping soundly and Harry standing at the foot of the bed. "Hey.."

"Hey," Harry whispered so not to wake Liam up, turning to guide Zayn back out of the room, closing the door behind him. "First, I'm pissed you didn't tell me knew such a hot nurse. Second.. I don't know what happened because you guys, but Liam's still pretty pissed at you and.. asked to tell you to just go home. That he'll give you a call when he's ready to talk."

Zayn nodded and sighed defeated, circling his arms around Harry because he needed comfort right now, even if he didn't deserve it. "What if he's never ready?"

"He will be, Z.. Just give him some time. Liam... he loves you, you know? He could never completely push you away."

"You don't know what happened."

"And I don't need to. No matter what, he's going to forgive you. It may take a while, but he will. I'm sure of that." Harry leaned back to brush his hand down Zayn's cheek reassuringly, giving him that award winning smile that he wished he could see in it's full glory.

Louis walked out of the room and closed the door softly behind him, a soft sigh expelling from his lips. "Liam's fine. He just needs his rest and he should be out of here in a couple days if he's eating regularly. Don't mention I was here, though. He'll probably punch me and sue this hospital for letting me touch him."

Zayn chuckled softly and pulled away from Harry's warmth to rub Louis' arm. "Thank you for everything, Lou. I can't ever repay you enough for everything you've done."

"It's not a problem, Zayn. Anything you need, I'm always going to be there."

A few moments later, after their goodbyes, Louis left the two of them alone and before Harry could even say anything, Zayn lifted his hand with a shake of his head. "You may not want to get involved. We.. had a thing back in the day."

"Well, you know me. I never care much about past relationships as long as he's into me and only me then I'm completely okay with it."

"I'll give you his number then."

"I knew I kept you around for a reason." Harry chuckled and wrapped his arm around Zayn's shoulders, leading him towards the elevators and talking his ears off about how hot he thought Louis was.

***

It had been a week since he's heard from Liam and Zayn was honestly starting to worry about their relationship and if they'd ever be able to salvage what they had before. Zayn's been burying himself in work by day and being the savior of the city by night, trying his hardest to stay out of the papers or news reports to not anger Liam even further. But he knew that no matter the result, he's still going to be _Daredevil_ , red and black suit and all.

He'd just finished busting up a gang drug exchange between the Mexican Cartel and the Irish, watching on the sidelines as the police handcuffed and put them all into squad cars to take them down to the police station. When satisfied, he headed home, exhausted though he knew that sleep wasn't going to come easy for him; it never came easy to him. He heard Liam's heart beat before he even walked into the house and his own spiked painfully in his chest, his hands becoming clammy and his nerves almost getting the better of him. He wanted to talk to Liam, more than anything in the world, but he was terrified of what that conversation might consist of.

"This outfit suits you a lot better than the dollar store mask and joggers."

Zayn felt his stomach drop because for the first time in ten years, since knowing Liam, he wasn't sure if what he was saying was meant to be taken lightly or if his words were spiteful. "Liam.. how are you?"

"I'm okay. Considering I got shot, but at least I'm able to get on my own two feet most days." He paused, took a step forward, hesitated then took a step back. And Zayn wished he wouldn't do that; be unsure of whether he could be near him or not. Almost as if he was afraid. "And you? How's your.. uh, whole whatever going?"

"Li, we don't have to talk about that."

"We do, Zayn. We do because you're him, no matter how hard you try to separate your two lives. You've kept him a secret from me for a reason so yes.. we do have to talk about it."

Zayn nodded slowly, moving towards the couch and sitting on the edge, clasping his hands in front of him. "What would you like to know?"

"How long have you been doing this?"

"Since we left Landmarker and Kat's. I was taking a stroll down the street and I heard a woman crying out for help and I.. I helped. I didn't think twice about what could be waiting for me when I rounded the corner."

"And dying wasn't something you feared?"

"No." Zayn answered, sighing softly and wiping a hand over his mouth. "I've never feared dying, Li. If I died helping someone else.. fuck, I call that honorable and a lot of other people do, too. Soldiers risk their lives every day doing shit for this country. Why would that be any different from what I'm doing for my city?"

"You're not a soldier, Zayn! And it's one of you against a million of them, that's the fucking difference." Liam finally closed the gap between them, kneeling in front of Zayn and taking his hands tightly in his and Zayn ignored the wince and sharp inhale his best friend took. He knew he was in pain and, God, he couldn't blame anyone but himself for that. "Zayn, it's not on your shoulders alone to have to save this city. You need to realize that."

"This is why I didn't tell you.." Zayn dropped his head to bring Liam's hand up to his lips, kissing over his knuckles, his soft skin, getting what touch he could before it was ripped away from him. "I don't want to have to give this up, but if that means losing you, Liam, I.. Fuck, I'd give up the world for you."

"I just want you to be safe. I want you to be there to watch me grow old and annoy you and wake up to your beautiful smile every morning. I want to get a chance to love you before you're taken away from me forever. I want you to want to get the chance to love me."

"I do love you," Zayn admitted, pressing his forehead against Liam's, needing to get as close as he possibly can. "I love you so, so much."

"But not enough to change your mind."

"I need to do this, Li.. It's a part of me."

Liam was quiet, way too quiet, for the longest time and Zayn wished he couldn't hear the way his heart was beating or notice every little shift in his breath whenever he wanted to speak but decided against it. "Just.. promise me you'll be careful. If you are going to do this, if you're going to be running around here in a mask beating guys up, promise me you'll be careful. Zayn, the last thing I can deal with is having to plan your funeral."

"Stop. I'm not going anywhere, okay? Fuck, Liam, I could never leave you alone."

"You didn't promise."

"I promise, Liam." Zayn whispers, lifting his hands to cradle Liam's face, pressing their lips together in a soft kiss. "I promise I won't leave you. I love you so much."

"I love you, too. I've always loved you." Liam whispered against his lips and just as soft as he's been with him in the past, Zayn was just as careful, pulling him up to the couch, curling his arms around him, holding him close, and also promising to never let go.

❀❀❀

Liam wished that things were so simple after that night, but it took months to feel completely at ease with Zayn's secret life. There were weeks on end where Liam would do nothing but bash his boyfriend because of things he did that were captured on camera and plastered all over the news. Times were he wanted to call up those very news reporters and give them a piece of his mind for the things they were saying about the love of his life. And Zayn, ever so cheerful saying to not mind them, to think positively about what he was doing for this city. Liam couldn't lie to himself; he has seen a big shift, but he wasn't sure if that balanced out the nights that he had to see Zayn stumble home with cuts and bruises littering his body, or the times he had to swallow his pride and admit he couldn't treat a wound and had to call Louis and watch from the sidelines as they bonded in whispers. It was a long process, but as he healed from the bullet he took (which left a massively cool scar, if he might add. Not that he'd ever encourage or be willing to get shot again) he also learned to be supportive of the person he adored most in this world, even if he still kept the thoughts to himself about him being a completely and utter idiot.

"Liam, f-fuck.. don't be an asshole right now.."

Liam smirked and pressed a kiss against his lover's shoulder, whispering softly in his ear. "Tell me you love me."

"I love you, God, just.. stop."

"What's the magic word?"

"I'm gonna kick your fucking ass, that's the magic word."

Liam chuckled and leaned back, releasing Zayn's leg and rubbing a hand over his upper thigh. "If you were out there trying to be Spiderman and shit, this wouldn't have happened."

"It was a cramp, not a broken bone." Zayn rolled his eyes and sat up, pushing Liam's shoulder before grabbing his chin and pulling him into a deep kiss. "You just love to torture me."

"True, I do. Only because you look so adorable when you're being tortured." Liam leaned forward again to suck Zayn's bottom lip into his mouth, a soft moan crawling out of his throat. "Speaking of ways you look when at my mercy.."

Zayn laughed again, but slid up to his knees to push Liam down on the bed, rubbing his hands down the length of his chest. "What do you have in mind?"

"Don't think I have to spell it out for you."

"Mm.. there's an idea." Zayn leaned forward to press kisses along Liam's chest while wiggling out of his boxers, kicking them off to the edge of the bed before climbing higher along his lover's body, holding on to the headboard to balance himself. Liam groaned and reached up to grab Zayn's hips and didn't hesitate to pull him down and lift his head just a tad until his mouth was graced with the sweet taste of the awaiting pink hole. And the sound Zayn made the moment they made contact was like icing on the world's juiciest cake, the way he rolled his hips eagerly, and sighed out Liam's named with slight shivers trembling down his body. Though he probably had no idea what he was spelling, Liam used his tongue to trace letters between the addicting walls, writing what he wanted to do to Zayn, his stomach on fire with the need to drive himself deep within his lover and watch as his face twisted in the most blissful pleasure and be prideful because he, and he alone, put that expression there.

When Zayn's thighs began to tremble against the sides of his face, Liam knew he was ready. He sat up against the headboard, pushing his boxers off in the same instant before wrapping his arms around his lover's body and capturing his lips in a heated, eager embrace. Liam gripped his throbbing cock and slid the tip of his against the wetness as he devoured Zayn's neck, whispering words of love mixed with terms of endearment before sliding himself between those sweet walls inch by inch, listening to the way his breathing shifted with every break. He whined so prettily against Liam's shoulders, nails scrapping along his back, and his body trembled against him so beautiful and Liam knew he would never be able to love another, feel as passionately about another, than he did this man in his arms.

They made slow love, Zayn rolling his hips slowly, cock grazing Liam's stomach with every upward and downward motion, kissing breathlessly, and touching each other wherever their hands would allow. Liam waited until that one word Zayn always whispered, begging for more, until he switched the positions, pushing his lover down on the bed, bending his legs at the knees upward and slammed into him, destroyed his beautiful hole, drank in his expression, his moans, his curse words, his callings to the Heaven's above, and nearly shattered when he hit that spot inside of him that never failed to make Zayn crumble beneath him and moments later cover himself in hot come that Liam _always_ happily consumed.

Liam was never too far behind, filling Zayn to the brim, laying against him, and welcoming the lazy kisses his lover loved to gift him while threading fingers through his hair. 

"You're beautiful."

Zayn smiled against his lips, giving him one more kiss before leaning his head back, tightening his legs around his waist. "You should look at yourself more often."

"Mm.. no one will ever measure up to your beauty."

"You've already reached your sex quota for the morning, my love. No need to flatter me more."

Liam chuckled and wiggled his way to the crook of Zayn's neck to place a hot kiss along his skin. "Marry me."

"Today, if I must."

"And keep me forever."

"Even after death."

"Never let me go."

"Not on my life."

The two of them held each other for what seemed like hours then shifted to the bathroom to shower where they made love again before getting dressed for the day. They were still lawyers and had a reputation to uphold and Liam loved nothing more than to go to work and annoy Harry with all of their touchy feely moments and random stolen kisses when they 'thought' he wasn't looking. After all, he _did_ want the two of them to come to their realization that they loved each other so that's what he got.

Life still wasn't simple, but Liam knew that as long as he had Zayn by his side they would be able to get through anything the world threw at them and together they made a team that was unbeatable through the power of love.


End file.
